From the 1994 album “Crude Hoyle”
The teacher calls you to the front of the class
You find it dandy to pick your ass
Everyone laughs and your face turns red
The teacher looks at you here’s what she said
Murphpicker murphpicker sticky and brown
You better stop pickin or get outta town
You walk into the liquor store
Your feet are tired and your ass is sore
Your murph digs deeper and you are pissed
You pick that murph with a double twist
An old lady walkin from Club Med
She saw you pickin and then she said
Murphpicker murphpicker sticky and brown
You better stop pickin or get outta town
You walk into the liquor store
Your murph is back but you try to ignore
You go and get a root beer float
Your murph is juicy and you start to bloat
The cup is bad and it starts to leak
You put your hand on a butt cheek
Your hand is ready and you can’t resist
You pick that murph with a triple twist
The owner says “Hey bitch” and your face turns red
He flicks you off here’s what he said
Murphpicker murphpicker sticky and brown
You better stop pickin or get outta town
Murphpickin is very wrong
So don’t pick that murph or get off my turf
Jackass Penguins 