He’s a drag queen, obscene, not that lean He’s a fat motherfucker and sort of mean From Orangecrest, city of Woodcrest fatter than the rest he is such a mess he’s a rebel and likes the Sun Devils from Tempe, Arizona, yeah that’s his level
The topic’s on Matt Nickname Bud cause his mom is Spud MacKenzie What a stud, he sleeps in mud, he smells like crud His name is Bud
Matt Neely, yeah that’s him Matt Neely, not that slim Matt Neely, he’s so dim He’s M to the A to the double T N to the double E L Y
This is the end of this jive about Matt Neely’s pathetic life Matt is number 6 of the Jackson 5 See ya later cause I’m out of time

*From the 1993 Diskovepher EP “Frechlemunsen”

The teacher calls you to the front of the class You find it dandy to pick your ass Everyone laughs and your face turns red The teacher looks at you here’s what she said
Murphpicker murphpicker sticky and brown You better stop pickin or get outta town
You walk into the liquor store Your feet are tired and your ass is sore Your murph digs deeper and you are pissed You pick that murph with a double twist An old lady walkin from Club Med She saw you pickin and then she said
Murphpicker murphpicker sticky and brown You better stop pickin or get outta town
You walk into the liquor store Your murph is back but you try to ignore You go and get a root beer float Your murph is juicy and you start to bloat The cup is bad and it starts to leak You put your hand on a butt cheek Your hand is ready and you can’t resist You pick that murph with a triple twist The owner says “Hey bitch” and your face turns red He flips you off here’s what he said
Murphpicker murphpicker sticky and brown You better stop pickin or get outta town
Murphpickin is very wrong So don’t pick that murph or get off my turf

Corn She walks slowly thru the corn Her Doc Martens old and torn she walks slowly away, doesn’t stay windy day her blond hair blowin in corn in the field in the morn she walks slowly thru the corn Runaway from a town called Santa Fe she gets on her knees and prays for today’s her dying day today’s her day
I eat my corn I’m big and strong I eat my corn I smoke my bong I eat my corn I’m big and strong I eat my corn I sing my song
Corn Her whole life is made of corn She reads magazines of porn Loaded gun pointed to her thick blond head she would rather read instead her small body full of lead she likes being dead

*From the 1995 album “Pandemonia”

*Music courtesy of the Federal Communications Commission

 

Black iron gates I’m gonna wait Black iron gates Decipher fates
Pandemonia Going there Pandemonia Shave my hair
Dead grove of trees Fall on me please Dead grove of trees Down on my knees
Pandemonia Going there Pandemonia Shave my hair Pandemonia I’m not strange Pandemonia Time for a change
Empty hotel Sulfuric smell Empty hotel Going to hell
Pandemonia Going there Pandemonia Shave my hair Pandemonia I’m not strange Pandemonia Time for a change Pandemonia Going there Pandemonia I’m not scared Pandemonia Happy land Pandemonia Take my hand Take my hand Take my land

Bye bye Stone time Be my valentine I’m so stone cold We grow ever old No don’t leave me No don’t deceive me
Stone time Riverside Gotta be Stone time
By the dirt hill He signs his will To his dead son His life is done He crawls into his tomb That’s all
Stone time Riverside Gotta be Stone time Get me Stone cold Gonna be so fucking cold Stone time

Yes I am, I am so abused, I am Yes I am, I am so amused Yes I am, I am so cool, I am And my friend, he says “fire is cool”, I am
Yes I am fucking Yes I am sucking I am in you Yes I am fucking you
Yes I am, I am so abused, I am And you are, you are such a star, you are and you have orgasm, you do
You’re so light You’re so tight In the night You fit me like a glove
Yes I am fucking Yes I am sucking I am in you Yes I am fucking you
You fit me like a glove I fit you like a glove

This is the story sad, but true of a fat old man from Kalamazoo He said he was strong at a time but I can’t say when ‘cause it doesn’t rhyme
He’s a slob in ’94 Wants to eat a little more
He does wait all of his day ’til the mailman comes He doesn’t stay Now he is old and quiet Doesn’t sleep anymore or try a diet
He’s a slob in ’94 Wants to eat a little more
He watches his big screen all day through He is a slob His name is Lou Well how ya doin I’m doing fine Why don’cha come outside into the sunshine?
You’re a slob, yes you are Lou. Why don’cha go on a diet? No? Then fuck you. Amongst all this cuss I wasn’t driving too well and hit a bus from the County Jail
He died that night in intensive care No one visited Lou Not one person was there He was embalmed and buried at high noon The church bells rung to the famous tune
He’s a slob in ’94 Wants to eat a little more Slob in ’94

*From the 1995 album “Songs for a Lost Generation”

*Recorded by Antonio Torres

 

Kissing in public my mother’s there smokers are smoking the colored hair piercing her eyelid is her worst friend I flush the homestead a message to send I’ll bet you’re stoned right now
A mosh pit marriage a tired friend a scared little carriage a blind-corner bend the honeymoon’s over the reception’s fed the honeymoon’s over the couple dead I’ll bet you’re stoned right now

*From the 1995 album “Fifth”

I am your futuristic layman I am your systematic drone and if you ever need my company remember I am oft alone
and if you want me call me I’ve been waiting by the phone and if you want me call me I’ve been waiting all alone for you
I am your ultra-loyal ‘mirer I am your super-Rolaid friend and if you ever want to talk to me talk to me, baby or if you ever need a friend
you don’t have my number

*From the 1996 album “Emptiness”

I am stupid you are not you are cool and I am not you are cool and I am not I am dumb and you are not
oh you think it’s my problem are you dumb you think I’m stupid you think I’m numb when God is here she’ll break your mirror the bad luck borne you’ll pay in years
7 years in hell that’s swell 7 years in hell that’s swell

good afternoon thought I’d sing you this here tune among the birds and the grass and soon you will see rising of the full moon and then you’ll see magic too in the bright moonlight you are so beautiful that’s true good afternoon you will see all the comets in the skies all the colors in your eyes make the sunset dull, you hold my hand I’ll dream with you golden light to baby blue see the heavens, streetlights too you’re so beautiful, that’s you you’re so beautiful, that’s true I’m in love with you

Move on  if you need someone to lean on  I won’t be around x2  Live on  in your perennial paradise  I’m sure that it will be very nice  Don’t make me have to go and say it twice 
I can’t go do everything  I can’t live an old routine 
Ramble on  You know I’ve got to find the perfect song  I know it shouldn’t couldn’t take me long  You can’t prove me sue me screw me Snoopy long  Live on  ‘cause time’s the only thing that will run me out  The only thing, the thing that this song’s about  I only wish that it didn’t have to shout  oh yeah  I can’t go do everything  I can’t live an old routine

Birds they can fly  If the wind is strong they will survive  Do they fly o’er you and turd?  When they fly they’re just a bird. 
Birds they fly up in the sky  They fly ever so high  They never ever die  I’ve never seen one lie  They’re louder when they chirp  As happy as a smurf are they, all day 
Birds do they die?  Is it at the end of their small lives?  Do they cry but nothing’s heard?  When they die, they’re just a bird. 
Birds they fly up in the sky  They fly ever so high  They never ever die  I’ve never seen one lie  They’re louder when they chirp  As happy as a smurf  I’ve never seen one dead  Or sleeping in a bed  Or hear them when they burp  Or dress like Wyatt Earp  They’re louder when they chirp  As happy as a smurf are they  All day

Curse the violent screams  Curse the vitamin heals  Curse the landfill of death  Curse the dragon’s firebreath  Curve the straightest road stretch  Curse the greatest ball catch  Kill the sadness inside  Make the goodness all rise  It’s alright  Just sit tight  Beautiful sight  All tonight

Who you talking to  Nothing here to use  No one here to use  Giving me the blues  Don’t fear none my heart  Tell me when to start  Never gonna part  Eating at my heart 
Let me go away 
One and one is two  One and one is three  Who you talking to  Can’t see me  I despise the time  Nothing here is mine  Every girl is fine  As the starry, starry skies

Nullified Mummified Lithified All in stride Hypnotized Pacified Baked and fried Every time
Deification of defecation
Petrified Mesmerized Androgyne In your eyes Here’s your prize From my thighs Brown with flies Try it for size
Deification of defecation
I ain’t tellin no shit You just love my shit

I’ve got an I Love Jesus bumper sticker It means I’m gonna get to heaven a lot quicker than you and when I’m in front of St. Peter he’ll remember my God-almighty Jesus egg beater and every Sunday I watch TV all the people dressed in Sunday best, oh yeee I just love her afro mascara I got my credit card ready, yeah I dare ya I listen to the radio to the sermons while I kill one hundred million jewish German tourists Yeah I’m always right, can’t ever be wrong ’cause God is forgiving and I am not Love thy neighbor while I shove and pry Anti-Darwin single-minded one-of-a-kind
Abortion clinic shootout, yeah yeah yeah Jesus was a Baptist, yeah yeah yeah

Hey you Hey you Goodbye Everybody says goodbye Good Bye Good Bye Good Bye Goodbye

Bomb Afghanistan  Fuck up the Sudan  Terror all across the land  Gonna make you understand  I don’t hate Islam  I don’t hate God  I don’t hate your land  I’m just pissed off  Terror in Pakistan  Bombs in Iran  The Middle East is a hell  We are the infidels  Fuck Up The Middle East  Osama is a fuckin beast

*From the 1998 album “Pornucopia”

 

Surfboards for everyone  Checking out the honeys in Santa Barbara  Surfboards in the sand  Wet bikinis and lowered Hondas  Surfboards in the sand  I’m checking out every single surfer girl  While I catch the pipe and shoot the curl 
Wet wet surfboards in the sand, yeah  Hot chicks sleeping with a tan, yeah  Surfboards for everyone 
Driving down the coast looking for more honeys  Surfboards in the sand  When we find a nude beach with Playboy bunnies  Surfboards in the sand  Well I’ve travelled the land, been around the world  But I never fucked that many surfer girls

I want you to believe  I love you even when you leave  I will watch you when you sleep  With other guys and other creeps 
And all I want is you to see that I’m a possibility  And all I want is you to think that I’m a possibility 
And I watch you when you breathe  Your breasts move they bounce and heave  When you smile I see your teeth  I wonder what you think of me

It’s great, funny, how you see me. Great how funny, happy, silly. And you are the best one for me. Great how funny, happy, silly.
She told me you like me Funny how you see me I’ve never known this

I wanna let you know that I can’t let you go It’s just one shit I’ve got to let go Constipation
and I am back again Who knows how long I’ll stay? and I am back again Who cares anyway?
Take a laxative You know I’m full of shit and I take a laxative cause I’m full of shit

I’ve got a problem What I’d like to share I’ve got a problem But I’m not in despair Shredding the pages What I got I love Love I’ve got a problem But I’m not gonna cry
Cause I’m good Cause I’m strong Cause I’ve got to move along I’ve got a problem x3 I do
I’ve got a problem It’s got to do with you I’ve got a problem It’s got to do with all of you
and I will be strong It’s not time to be weak It’s time to buzz off and fight the demons within Cause I’m the one Who will get through this I will get proper and live in the bliss I’m the one Who wants you For the rest of my life and your life too I’ve got a problem It won’t take long you, you
and I will be strong x2 got to carry on Not time to whine Lame alibis I’ve got to get through this somehow x2 Somehow special Better than all the rest They put you through the test and you made it through Cause we beat it

and I heard that you were dead so I learn to hit my head and I couldn’t sleep at night nothing’s gonna work out right
and I wish you’d come again did you ever wake up dead? so who painted heaven white? cannot see because the light
and I heard that you were gone so I learn to carry on every second there’s a death decompose, there’s nothing left
is it me, is it you have to lie to see the truth is it us, is it them dig thru trash to find a gem dust to dust, lust to death skeletons and rotten flesh

You’re my pussy you’re my neighbor You’re next door when I’m not home You’re my pussy you’re my neighbor The girl next door without a phone
If you want to I can take you a million miles away If you want to I can take you in my U.F.O.
You’re my lover you’re my brother Mother Nature’s out to lunch You’re my lover there’s no other You’re the rum inside my punch
If you want to I can take you a billion miles away If you want to I can take you in my U.F.O.

Harsh screams  Death beams  Pain teems  Life seems

*From the 2000 album “Hourglass”

 

 It’s not about  It’s not about  It’s not about how you miss me.  It’s not about  It’s not about how you talk about your boyfriend in front of me.  It’s not about  It’s not about how you follow my every move.  It’s not about  It’s not about how you look at me so sexy.  It’s  about the way I feel about you.  I could always look at you and feel the same.  You wouldn’t change your name if we got married someday.  I want to take you to some secluded hotel room and fuck your brains out all the night  Until we see the morning light.  The morning light.  It’s not about  It’s not about how I love to pour hot wax on your body.  It’s not about  It’s not about how I love to eat you out when you are on the rag.  It’s not about  It’s not about how I love to drink your piss.  It’s not about  It’s not about how you want to shit in my mouth.  It’s the glory when I see you in the bathroom all alone  And you are thinking about your boyfriend.  And you’ve got the vibrator on xxxtra-high.  You won’t even know I’m alive anymore.  Just when I think I’ve got a chance  You make me feel like an ant  Yes I am the biggest loser in the world.  And that’s because of you.  And I don’t need that no more.  Yes I’m walking out that door  Yes I’m gone for good.

Hey  You took me under the waves  We drank the wine just like days  Can’t help but breathe in the haze 
Sunshine on the sand  Smiles across the land  Let me hold your hand  Let me hold your hand 
Hey  You have such beautiful ways  Like circumpuscular rays  I dot my i’s and my j’s 
Southern California 
Hey  Look at those beautiful waves  They push and pull just like slaves  They shine like Rutherford Hayes  Hey

A dumb angel on my tracks  Winged cherub won’t relax  Imagine that  Flinging arrows is her job  In love with liberty from God  What a gas 
Give a dollar to your friend  If it’s money you need to lend  You’ll feel hollow in the end  It’s your heart you need to mend 
Her gaze stops me every time  Instead I act so civilized  Imagine that  I dream of sleeping in my bed  I’m just living in my head  What a gas 
When you’re feeling down and blue  Close your eyes and count to 2  You know what you’ve got to do  Take a trip to Malibu 
I cannot hear her voice aloud  I see it in a puffy cloud  Imagine that  Songs of angels fill my day  When she looks across my way  What a gas 
I hope she looks across my way  I hope she doesn’t think I’m gay  Or some pervert who will say  “I will knock you up someday"  Give a dollar to your friend  If it’s money you need to lend  You’ll feel hollow in the end  It’s your heart you need to mend  Dumb angel  Dumb angel  Dumb angel on my tracks

You’ve got the key ignition I’ve got the rattled tones I’m an honest engine Hear me roar I’ve got the massive tires You’ve got an ass of steel You won’t get fired I can’t feel
Plowin down all the hills and knolls Grade it flat, now it feels like home Feels like home
The land goes on forever Your job is safe with me Nature begs for an acre Go extinct
All those signs are phony We’re building for a cause That cause is money Watch ’em fall Clear the way for congested sprawl Nowhere to tag so you build a wall

oh yeah all right baby she laughs flat on her back intact and her radiance good 6-pack’s not coming back in fact I think that they all should
silver queen it’s not like in dreams but things are still misunderstood fantasy, like your liberty remains so far from Hollywood
transfixed the size of your tits I sit alone thinking of you bad trips reality clicks no chicks have been as pretty as you
the desert lies beyond with dust instead of fog the engine’s turning on two hours, we’ll be gone

Yo Check this shit out, yo It doesn’t get any gooder
I saw you….in the rain

Touched by my reflection Melted all away I had no intention To blow you all away In a flowing river On a summer day I will still remember When I’m old and gray
That day
The river has the current That push you down, away The sea it pulls the river and all the rocks with age make the sand that greets you when you are in the bay the sea it eats the river the tides move day to day
That way

*Music and lyrics available at www.songreader.net